Rule # 1:
Wear black as much as possible. It makes you look cool and is slimming.
Rule # 2:
Yes and no are perfectly acceptable to almost every question. A grunt is NOT acceptable, boys.
Rule # 3:
When it comes to chores, all you gotta do is sweep the room with a glance, and you'll be finished.
Rule # 4:
Eat well, stay fit --> die anyway.
So don't eat well or stay fit unless good looks are the only thing you have going for you.
Rule # 5:
Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
Rule # 6:
It's the man's job to be the man in the relationship. Boys/men, say you're sorry.
Rule # 7:
Never cheat.
Not on exams, the crossword, or your boyfriend/girlfriend.
Rule # 8:
Talking is good, shouting is bad, and I think slapping is a felony.
Rule # 9:
Say whatever you want to say DURING THE COMMERCIALS.
Rule # 10:
If it was said more than a week ago, you cannot use it in a current argument.
Rule # 11:
Women that complain about the toilet seat being up are stupid.
Rule # 12:
No orange hair unless you're in the circus.
Rule # 13:
Agreeing to date other people "for now" is the same as a punt in the third down. It's over.
Rule # 14:
Burping is gross.
Rule # 15:
Flipping burgers isn't "beneath your dignity." Shut up.
Rule # 16:
You'll never become a rock star.
Rule # 17:
Chances are you'll never find anyone that can give you an acceptable reason of why we have daylight savings time.
Rule # 18:
NEVER, under any circumstance, take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night.
Rule # 19:
Artificial intelligence and natural stupidity pretty much even out.
Rule # 20:
No man has ever been shot while doing dishes.
Rule # 21:
Soap is a person's best friend.
Rule # 22:
If a guy's night out is going to involve strippers; remember the rules at the zoo: No Petting.
Rule # 23:
Always the smile. Sometimes the nod. Never the wink.
Rule # 24:
Never tape body parts together.
Rule # 25:
I see only 14 colors. Peach is a fruit, along with pumpkin, and I have no idea what mauve is.
Rule # 26:
Girls are for sympathy. Boys help you solve problems.
Rule # 27:
Being drunk doesn't make you more attractive.
Rule # 28:
Christopher Columbus didn't need directions so neither do I.
Rule # 29:
Imagine your father seeing that picture of you.
Rule # 30:
To the boys: Honey, darling, and sweetheart are good. Nag, larda$$, and words along those lines are very bad.
Rule # 31:
Never make any kind of generalization concerning gender even though it's so true that God himself would back you up.
Rule # 32:
A person that is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
Rule # 33:
Telling your boyfriend that he is 'a great person,' is taken as the lead-in to a confession that you don't love him.
Rule # 34:
Beggars can't be choosers.
Rule # 35:
No great music was ever made on a flying V guitar.
Rule # 36:
Learn to say, "where is the nude beach?" in at least three languages.
Rule # 37:
Pretty isn't enough.
Rule # 38:
If you see a little kid, make a fart noise with your mouth. They'll laugh every time(:
Rule # 39:
One good turn gets most of the blankets.
Rule # 40:
Being attentive is good. Stalking is very bad.
Rule # 41:
You should NEVER EVER EVER say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that exact moment.
Rule # 42:
It's not the jeans that make your butt look fat.
Rule # 43:
Even when you know there is nobody there, dark long hallways are creepy.
Rule # 44:
Never pass up an opportunity to pee.
Rule # 45:
BOYS: Respect the Sacred Buffer.
Rule # 46:
If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
Rule # 47:
A jealous girl is more ferocious than a million angry lions and tigers.
Rule # 48:
He could have the best body in the world, but if his personality sucks, IT'S NOT WORTH IT.
Rule # 49:
If you just recently caught your boyfriend cheating on you, it's probably like the 876,237,586,278,365,782,635,786th time he did it.
Rule # 50:
Crocs are for people who have given up on life.
Rule # 51:
Ignore everything they say and just pay attention to what they do.
Rule # 52:
Pick a team and stick with them. Quit jumping on the bandwagon.
Rule # 53:
Girls -- farting and burping in front of guys isn't cute.
Rule # 54:
It should be illegal to make online homework due on the weekend.
Rule # 55:
To the boys -- hats don't make up for not showering, aftershave doesn't make up for soap, and warm water doesn't equal clean.
Rule # 56:
Crying is blackmail.
Rule # 57:
Don't sleep next to anything you don't want to wake up next to.
Rule # 58:
Don't say you wanna date one person then turn around and go date someone else.
Rule # 59:
Return the shopping cart.
Rule # 60:
Guys with no confidence make me mad. Especially when they want a girl's advice. MAN UP.
Rule # 61:
When you're on a date -- don't text.
Rule # 62:
Hold the door open.
Rule # 63:
Everyone comes from a dysfunctional family.
Rule # 64:
Don't talk to yourself. If you must, then at least don't answer yourself in a different voice.
Rule # 65:
Be confident, but be yourself.
Rule # 66:
Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Obvious hints don't work. Just say it!
Rule # 67:
She shouldn't be your favorite girl, she should be your only girl.
Rule # 68:
Gossip is the number one destructive force in the world.
Rule # 69:
I'm not a mind reader.
Rule # 70:
If you make a deal with someone, make sure you keep your end of it.
Rule # 71:
Some people shouldn't take their shirt off.
Rule # 72:
It takes two to tango.
Rule # 73:
It's the little things.
Rule # 74:
Don't be a butt.
Rule # 75:
Use it then lose it. (I don't mean people.)
Rule # 76:
Nothing can ruin your life like drugs.
Rule # 77:
Always act like the person you're talking to is way smarter, better-looking, slimmer, and a hundred times more successful than they really are.
Rule # 78:
Keep it classy, never trashy.
Rule # 79:
If an ex texts you, ignore it. If a guy you've slept with texts you after 11 p.m, ignore it. Responding the next day, only if you have to, makes you look a whole hell of a lot cooler, and it reduces the chance of you being some guy's afterthought, again.
Rule # 80:
A relationship without trust is like a phone without service. All you do is play games.
Rule # 81:
A message delivered in person is 3.6 times more effective than if delivered by social networking.
Rule # 82:
Remember that nice guys do finish last. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is.
Rule # 83:
It's not called being "whipped," it's called respecting your girlfriend.
Rule # 84:
The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to actually accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule # 85:
When someone important unexpectedly says something nice and cheery to you, they mean absolutely nothing by it.
Rule # 86:
Don't thrive on compliments. Especially the ones given after you just screwed up 50 times too many.
Rule # 87:
Christmas is about giving.
Rule # 88:
If he'll cheat on a girl with you, he'll cheat on you with another girl.
Rule # 89:
Nobody cares if you can't dance well, just dance.
Rule # 90:
If it doesn't work both ways then it's not worth it.
Rule # 91:
School may have done away with winners and losers but life has not.
Rule # 92:
A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Rule # 93:
It doesn't matter what you do. It only matters what you say you've done, and what you're going to do.
Rule # 94:
Ladies -- your periods are suppose to occur, at the most, 13 times a year. If they happen 365 times a year, see a doctor, 'cause something is definitely wrong.
Rule # 95:
Don't be irreplaceable.
Rule # 96:
Don't underestimate your father's ability to understand you. Or any man's for that matter. Set expectations high.
Rule # 97:
Going crazy during a great football game is a sign of very good mental health.
Rule # 98:
A pretty face will get you a boyfriend, but only a pretty heart will keep him.
Rule # 99:
Your wifes/girlfriends/significant other's cooking IS excellent.
Rule # 100:
Worry isn't worry at all. It's just a deceiving name for fear.
Rule # 101:
Bad breath by faarrrrr is the BIGGEST TURNOFF !!
Rule # 102:
Men are going to ogle. It's genetic.
Rule # 103:
Wear clean underwear.
When people say they wanna party in your pants it doesn't mean a germ party.
Rule # 104:
You can either ask someone to do something or just tell them how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know how to do it best, do it yourself.
Rule # 105:
Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.)
Rule # 106:
Represent your team, and make sure you have a team that represents you.
Rule # 107:
You can never eat too much candy.
If you get sick and throw it up, that's just telling you: "I'm running on empty! Refuel time!"
Rule # 108:
Sunday = sports. It's like the changing of the tides, and the full moon.
Let it be.
Rule # 109:
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Rule # 110:
Needing someone is like needing a parachute.
If they aren't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing them again.
Rule # 111:
Ladies -- sometimes 'your man' isn't thinking about you.
Deal with it.
Rule # 112:
If I ask for help opening a jar, you better be able to open it(:
Rule # 113:
Very few people have loved only one person. I swear, there will be others.
Rule # 114:
While making new friends remember not to forget the old,,
unless they suck.
Rule # 115:
Never give up on what you really want to do.
The person with big dreams is more powerful than one with all the facts.
Rule # 116:
The "knight in shining armor" usually turns out to be a tool.
Rule # 117:
Getting along with people you really don't like isn't being fake.
It's called growing up.
Rule # 118:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Rule # 119:
A lot of things that will make you a bad ass will make you a statistic.
Choose your battles.
Rule # 120:
No matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you should be able to forgive them for that.
Rule # 121:
PMS is not the cause of every bad mood.
Rule # 122:
When I get old and my first words to you are about bladder control.... just shoot me.
Rule # 123:
Parents got boring after you were born.
Rule # 124:
Learn how to change a tire;
because tires have air in them and things with air in them will eventually pop.
Rule # 125:
All girls are beautiful; no matter what shape or size.
Rule # 126:
There are things you need to say, things you need to keep to yourselves, and things you should never even think of.
Rule # 127:
Win by a little, lose by a lot.
Rule # 128:
If you don't stand by your standards, you don't have any.
Rule # 129:
Boys only rub your back to find out if you're wearing a bra.
Rule # 130:
When you've got a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% chance you'll get it wrong.
Rule # 131:
If it comes down to it boys,
you are wrong.
Rule # 132:
Stop operating on a very condensed version of the 10 commandments.
Rule # 133:
When a light bulb goes out, you don't go buy a whole new house.
You fix the light bulb.
Rule # 134:
If you wanna break up with them, break up with them. Don't act like a complete jerk so they'll do it for you.
Rule # 135:
It's probably nothing.
Girls really just want to punish boys with their inscrutability.
Rule # 136:
Talk half as much as you listen.
Rule # 137:
In no particular order, top three things that MEN/boys SAID they care about most are sex, food, and money. The next three things were "how big it is," cars, and how good their girl(s) look.
Rule # 138:
Threatening someone with a stiletto heel is very bad. (but it's okay to do it with normal shoes)
Rule # 139:
No popped collars -- no matter who you are.
Rule # 140:
It's not the answer that enlightens you.
It's the question.
Rule # 141:
A true friend never gets in your way; unless you're going down.
Rule # 142:
Life isn't a garden so stop being a ho.
Rule # 143:
Just because you start at the bottom, doesn't mean you can't make it to the top.
Rule # 144:
Life isn't so bad if you give it a chance to be good.
Rule # 145:
A relationship isn't a test, so why cheat?
Rule # 146:
People need to understand that family doesn't have to be biological.
Rule # 147:
The best way to ruin an apology is with an explanation.
Rule # 148:
Freshmen and sophomores: you aren't allowed to complain about being at school. Complaining about school is a right specifically held by few juniors and all seniors.
Rule # 149:
Act like a lady, think like a man. ♥
Rule # 150:
Just 'cause you paint a picture doesn't mean it's gonna fit the frame.
Rule # 151:
Gingers may not have souls, but they make the perfect punch line.
Rule # 152:
Life isn't anything like high school.
In the "real world," you don't get summers off, and most people won't care about helping you "find yourself."
Rule # 153:
Laern two spel.
Rule # 154:
Don't argue with trolls — it means that they win.
Rule # 155:
Always proofread your work,
in case you words out.
Rule # 156:
If you want the rainbow, you're gonna have to put up with the rain.
Rule # 157:
Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
Rule # 158:
On the internet, all girls are men, and all kids are undercover FBI agents or Perverted Justice Decoys.
Rule # 159:
When in a dance battle... river dancing wins every single time. (:
Rule # 160:
Exaggeration is a zillion times worse than understatement.
Rule # 161:
Women are like police.
They have all the evidence in the world against you, but they still ask for you confession.
Rule # 162:
The probability of seeing someone you know increases by a LOT when you're with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Rule # 163:
Sometimes things aren't always butterflies and rainbows.
Rule # 164:
When a guy smells good,
it automatically makes them more attractive.
Rule # 165:
If you're gonna act like you're single, don't be in a relationship.
Rule # 166:
If someone sneezes more than twice in "rapid-fire succession," one "bless you" will do.
Rule # 167:
A man wearing a brightly colored fanny pack is only 7/8ths of a man.
Rule # 168:
Guys - she's dating you for a reason. If she wanted to date that guy, she'd be dating him.
Ladies - same deal. There's a reason he's dating you and not her.
Rule # 169:
Grammar is sexy. :P
It doesn't even matter what the sentence is saying.
Rule # 170:
Dating your ex again is like buying your clothes back from Goodwill.
There's a reason you got rid of them in the first place.
Rule # 171:
You don't always get what you wish for, you get what you work for.
Rule # 172:
A mustache says soo much about a man.
Rule # 173:
You can't go anywhere without goals...
Rule # 174:
Don't waste your time on someone that isn't willing to waste their time on you.
Rule # 175:
Just say how you feel.
Who cares about signals ? This isn't a four-way crossing.
Rule # 176:
Never pucker.
Rule # 177:
Don't be the reason she doesn't trust guys.
Be the exception.
Rule # 178:
"Don't waste your time chasing the manure truck."
Rule # 179:
The more people age, the more people realize that they weren't as smart as they thought.
Rule # 180:
Just because you can squeeze into a size 6 doesn't mean you are a size 6.
Rule # 181:
Guys -- "Cool story, babe. Now make me a sandwich," isn't something you should say to the girl you're trying to make your girlfriend... or really any girl.
Come on now.
Rule # 182:
If your pants are on fire being a liar becomes less important.
Rule # 183:
Girls always fall a little harder than boys do.
Rule # 184:
Expecting the world to treat you fairly 'cause you're a good person is like expecting a bull to not attack you 'cause you're a vegetarian.
Rule # 185:
Ladies -- just 'cause you were fine with him, doesn't mean you can't be fine without him.
Rule # 186:
If you want to know what someone is like,
take a good look at how they treat their inferiors, not their equals.
Rule # 187:
If a friend cries over an ex, then you can't date that ex.
It can't even be considered.
Rule # 188:
You're way too young to believe it's not gonna be okay.
Rule # 189:
What you see depends on what you're looking for.
Rule # 190:
It never hurts to keep looking for sunshine.
Rule # 191:
You can tell a lot about a person's character by what they smile about.
Rule # 192:
There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly.
Rule # 193:
No boyfriend, no problem(:
Rule # 194:
Your character is based on what you stand for.
Rule # 195:
Your reputation is based on what you fall for.
Rule # 196:
GUYS -- when a woman says, "do what you want" she really means, "do what I want but make it look like you made up your own mind."
Rule # 197:
Home isn't a place.
It's a group of people.
Basic rule number 198:
Don't rely on the guy.
Rule # 199:
Some things don't become a problem until you can't see them anymore.
For instance.. spiders.
Rule # 200:
Turtles aren't slow.
Rule # 201:
When you put on that jersey,
the name on the front is more important than the name on the back.
Rule # 202:
Career plans are always more exciting when you're five.
Rule # 203:
Everyone looks best when they're smiling. :)
Rule # 204:
If you call yourself "a lady," and you have a picture where you're flipping the camera off, you're obviously not a very "classy" lady.
Rule # 205:
Age is just a number. Unless you're 18 and they're 32.
Rule # 206:
Rule # 207:
Rule # 208:
Rule # 209:
Rule # 210:
Never make eye contact while eating a banana.
Rule # 211:
Ladies -- find a guy that'll ruin your lipstick instead of your mascara.
Rule # 212:
God won't give up on you, so don't give up on Him.
Rule # 213:
Stay faithful or stay single.
Rule # 214:
You know you love someone when you'd rather see them smile than see them naked.
Rule # 215:
Thou shall not drop an "F bomb" on any social networking site.
Rule # 216:
Not everything you want to say needs to be said.
Rule # 217:
Aim to make your first marriage your only marriage.
Rule # 218:
No guy wants to marry a whore.
Well, no girl wants to marry a man whore either.
Rule # 219:
All guys can't be good ones; that's what makes the good guys even better.
Rule # 220:
Cheating isn't an accident.
An accident is when you accidentally bump into someone, not when you accidentally fall into someone's vagina.
Rule # 221:
Ladies, if you want a prince, try acting like a princess instead of a whore.
Rule # 222:
Eagles may soar, but mice don't get sucked into jet engines.
Rule # 223:
If you're not happy single then you won't be happy taken.
Happiness comes from within, not from men.
Rule # 224:
In the buffet of communication, texting should be a side dish, not the main dish.
Rule # 225:
You know your childhood is over when you fall asleep on the couch and wake up on the couch.
Rule # 226:
Don't base your decisions on the advice of people who don't have to deal with the results.
Rule # 227:
Life is about knowing two things.
1. You're not perfect.
2. That's perfectly fine.
Rule # 228:
If I have to hit my brakes, your lane change was unsuccessful.
Rule # 229:
Life has no remote.
Get up and change it yourself.
Rule # 230:
Everyone is single by choice.
It's just not always their choice.
Rule # 231:
Your relationship ended, not your life. Get over it.
Rule # 232:
The less time you have, the more you get done
Did you find out all this ! Awesome girl .
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